Flight
by bodiechan
Summary: When Sakura and Tomoyo go out into the woods to capture a Clow Card, Sakura never could have guessed that the day would end with a romantic walk with Yukito! Tomoyo is left alone with the Clow Wand a heavy heart. Why can't Sakura love her instead?


**NOTES: This was for a contest on a forum called The Muse Bunny. We had to write a fanfic inspired by the song "Tonight and the Rest of My Life" by Nina Gordon. I missed the deadline due to a weird misunderstanding, but I'm really proud of this oneshot all the same. The lines that inspired me from the song are part of the first verse:**

_**Down to the earth I fell  
With dripping wings  
Heavy things won't fly**_

**And the chorus:**

_**I feel so light  
This is all I want to feel tonight  
I feel so light  
Tonight and the rest of my life **_

**JAPANESE WORDS: I decided to throw in some Japanese because I'm like addicted to this language, and it just felt more natural to have the characters using it. I didn't use as much as some fanfic writers do though; some of them confuse the heck out of me with so much Japanese. Anyway, here is the translation of the words I put in, in case you were confused:**

**konichiwa = good afternoon**

**hai = yes, yeah**

**arigatou = thank you**

**ano = um...**

**gomenasai = I'm sorry**

**

* * *

**

"RELEASE!"

The bird-headed key around Sakura's neck disappeared in a burst of white light, a long, pink staff now clutched between her fingers. She was clothed in a short, forest-green skirt that vaguely resembled the leaves of a palm tree, and a lime-colored top mostly covered by a shawl identical to her skirt. A headband with a ball of fabric on either side rested in her auburn hair, and the shoes on her feet were that off of a storybook jester. Sakura had agreed readily to wear the get-up, though wild and bizarre, as it was actually a lot less embarrassing than some of the other costumes she'd been forced to wear. Her Card-capturing clothes were always the work of Daidouji Tomoyo, who stood a few feet away, excitedly clasping a video camera in her sweating hands. For some reason, Tomoyo took great pains to dress the Sakura up in her hand-made clothes at every possible occasion. Sakura didn't know why, but if it made Tomoyo happy, then who was she to deny her best friend of her pleasures?

Sakura closed her eyes and took a deep breath inward. She raised her staff above her head with one hand and reached the other slowly into her pocket. Her glove slid out from the folds of her skirt holding a beautifully illustrated Card depicting a large, white bird. Sakura threw the Card into the air in front of her and dramatically swung down her staff onto its surface.

"FLY!"

Long, white wings sprouted from the bird-headed end of Sakura's staff, and she swung her legs over one side until she had mounted it like a witch would her broom. Kicking off from the ground to get her going, Sakura shot off into the air. She was after a certain Card causing mischief on a nearby rooftop, making the house's shingles flash different colors every few minutes. She'd felt its presence while sitting in her backyard with Tomoyo, and hurried to a clearing in a forest where she could take off on the Fly without being seen. She hadn't told Toya she was coming out here. She hadn't even had a chance to notify Kero-chan. She had simply sensed the Card, taken a quick detour into the bathroom to shove on her new costume at Tomoyo's insistence, and flown off into the undergrowth with her camerawoman at her heels.

Sakura landed on the rooftop with a dull thud, holding the staff in front of her like a marksman would hold his gun. The tiles seemed to flash even brighter at her arrival, switching from a violent shade of green to an eye-watering magenta. Sakura's eyes squinted in pain, but she kept her cool. Compared to some of the other Cards, this one would be positively effortless to capture. It wasn't even trying to hide.

"Return to the form you were meant to be… CLOW CARD!"

The roof seemed to fluctuate before her eyes, the pinks slowly fading as long strings of the Card's being flowed into a rectangle in front of the staff. With one last moan of protest, the tiles resumed their normal brown coloration and a Clow Card fluttered into Sakura's hand.

Every moment of this routine was captured lovingly by the girl behind the camera. "Do your best, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said softly, lowering her camera for a split-second so that she could catch a glimpse of the Cardcaptor, through her own eyes instead of the camera's lens. Tomoyo's video equipment was impartial. It taped everything in front of it, and whether Sakura won triumphantly or was pitifully crushed in moments, the camera told the truth and nothing else. In Tomoyo's eyes, however, everything that Sakura did was picture-perfect, no matter what the truth may have been. Normally Tomoyo was a realist, and this foolishly optimistic behavior was a rarity she saved for Sakura alone. But then, most everything in Tomoyo's life she saved for Sakura alone. One could even say that Sakura _was_ her life.

As it turned out, Tomoyo didn't even have to pretend that Sakura was breathtaking in this battle. The camerawoman watched the tiles turn pink and slowly fade to brown, and she zoomed in on the triumph in Sakura's eyes as the Card was sealed away. Sakura then began her descent, waving the Card victoriously in the air on her way down. Tomoyo sprinted out into the middle of the clearing to greet her, thrusting her camera upwards as proudly as her friend waved the Card. As Sakura touched down, Tomoyo flew into her arms, knocking her to the ground and sending the winged staff flying.

"T-Tomoyo… chan…" squeaked Sakura, her limbs crushed by her friend's overenthusiastic hug.

"You were fantastic, Sakura-chan!" cried Tomoyo, oblivious to the discomfort she had forced upon her friend. "I got the most incredible shots of you! It was your best magical adventure to date! And you look so scrumptious in that outfit that I could just _die_!"

"Tomoyo-chan!" screeched Sakura, her face flushing a deep shade of crimson. Why did Tomoyo have to choose such awkward wording? It sounded as if she wanted to _eat_ Sakura, not videotape her. And why did Tomoyo care if Sakura looked pretty or not when she captured Clow Cards, anyway? It's not like the Cards would care, and the only other one here was Tomoyo. She didn't care either, did she? Why would she? It's not like she had a crush on Sakura or anything, right? Even though it was ridiculous idea, Sakura couldn't help musing that sometimes it seemed that a crush was exactly what Tomoyo had in mind. But Tomoyo was her best friend, Sakura's mind added quickly. The two of them couldn't possibly any closer. If one of them had a crush on _anyone_, they would have said something to the other the day they realized it. Right?

Tomoyo grinned, letting go of Sakura's torso only to shove the camera lens into her face. Tomoyo's cheeks turned pink as her eyes grew glazed and sparkly, vaguely reminding Sakura of the floaty feeling inside she experienced when she was with Yukito. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Sakura-chan! That outfit looks superb on you! I'm so glad I thought to bring it when I came over to your house, and when you felt a Clow Card's presence, well, the timing was just _too_ perfect! I can't _believe_ it was that perfect!"

"T-Tomoyo-chan…" Sakura laughed nervously and slowly inched away from her friend, who continued to rant on and on about the beauty of Sakura's new costume. Once she was safely away from the camera, however, Sakura couldn't help smiling to herself. Tomoyo was a natural designer, and she needed someone to model the outfits she sewed. As Tomoyo's best friend, Sakura was the designated mannequin. When Tomoyo threw out words like "scrumptious," she probably was talking more about the outfit itself than Sakura, right? Thinking about it that way, it wasn't so weird. Plus, Tomoyo was her best friend. Weird or not, Sakura would stick by her until the end.

However, Tomoyo's words came to an abrupt halt as the bushes behind them started to rustle. A tall shape was making its way through undergrowth and would reach their clearing in mere seconds. Sakura's eyes grew huge and she quickly scrambled to her feet. How could she explain the outfit she was wearing? How could she explain the _staff_? She glanced nervously to her left where it lay dejectedly on the ground, the Fly Card's wings still sprouting from the bird head on its end. She was too far away to hide it behind her back, and too close to disown it as someone else's. Oh well. She would have to hope that whoever came this way wouldn't notice. She would have to hold her breath and wish for the best, as she always did when capturing the Clow Cards or hoping for love.

As the figure emerged into the clearing, Sakura's embarrassment took a dramatic upturn. Her face suddenly turned more crimson than the autumn leaves around her, and she stared so intensely at her toes that Tomoyo wouldn't have been surprised if her shoes burst into flames. It was a tall, teenage boy with silvery hair and glasses that glinted in the late afternoon sun. If Sakura had thought there was any hope of making a mad sprint away, her hopes were now dashed. Her feet seemed to be frozen to the ground. The boy's expression was one of confusion for a split-second, but soon his face broke into a wide grin and he raised a hand in salutation. "Konichiwa, Sakura-chan, Daidouji-chan."

"Konichiwa, Tsukishiro-san," replied Tomoyo, smiling in a friendly sort of way. The boy wasn't strictly a friend of hers, but he was Sakura's crush, so was enough to make Tomoyo like him. Well, enough to respect him, anyway. No, she didn't _quite _respect him, but she was sure that he was a nice person really.

Oh, who was she kidding? Her friendliness towards him was all a game. She _knew _he was kind and sweet and beautiful. So why did she always feel so hostile towards him, very deep down? Of course, she was always polite as can be with him, but some darker part of her heart genuinely wanted him dead. Why? Sakura loved him, didn't he? He made Sakura happy. That should have made Tomoyo happy too. It troubled her deeply that it didn't, but now was not the time to ponder such things. Now was the time to smile and wave and hope Tsukishiro-san went away soon.

Despite her hatred, Tomoyo had no problem being calm around the boy, unlike her best friend, who was mortified to be seen by him in this kind of outfit. What if he thought this was how she dressed every day?! "Yukito-san," whispered Sakura, her face somehow managing to redden further. Then, in the silence that followed, she realized that he was waiting for her to reply. "K-konichiwa, Yukito-san!" she repeated, loud enough for him to hear this time. She tried to keep her voice steady and failed miserably. It came out as an awkward squeak, further proving to everyone around that she was doing something she shouldn't. "W-what are you doing here?"

Yukito smiled. Sakura's heart melted. "I was on my way to visit Toya when I decided to take a detour through the woods. There's nothing like a walk through a forest in autumn, right, Sakura-chan?"

"H-hai!" Sakura gave a fervent nod, her face still brick-red. "I agree! The leaves are so pretty this time of year!"

Tomoyo gave a little giggle and nodded more casually. It always amused her to see how Sakura acted around her crush, even if she did feel a little pang of envy when she saw how much admiration Sakura had for him. "Hai, it is. That's why Sakura-chan and I came out here. I wanted to film her new costume against the beautiful forest backdrop!"

Yukito gave a nod of his own. "It _sounds_ beautiful. I hope you'll show me the footage sometime, Daidouji-chan." He then cast a grin in Sakura's direction. "By the way, nice outfit."

Sakura's tiny sweat drop turned in an instant to pure terror, and suddenly Yukito seeing her in this costume seemed to be the least of her problems. He liked how it looked on her! He had come so close to calling her pretty! But how could Tomoyo show Yukito a clip of her capturing Clow Cards?! "Ano…" She tried wildly to think of a lie he could believe. Tomoyo's video camera ran out of battery? Tomoyo had lost her creative inspiration and had decided not to film it after all?

Fortunately, she was saved the trouble of answering. "Oh, it didn't come out very well, Tsukishiro-san," Tomoyo lied easily, hanging her head in mock-disappointment. "I wish I could show you, but I don't think you would like it."

"Oh, that's a shame. I was looking forward to seeing it," said Yukito, clearly disappointed as well. Sakura gave Tomoyo a grateful glance. Tomoyo smiled kindly in return. After a long pause, when it was made clear that no one had anything else to say, Yukito nodded once more and turned towards the other side of the clearing. "Well, I should be heading off. Toya's expecting me." But halfway across, he seemed to change his mind, and turned back to look at the girls. "Oh, by the way, does Toya know you're out here, Sakura-chan?"

"Ano..." Sakura looked at her shoes. They were very intricate. She vaguely wondered how long it had taken Tomoyo to make them. "Oniichan was studying when we left," she told Yukito. "We told him we were leaving, but I don't… I don't think he heard us." Really Toya had no idea where they were. If Sakura had told her brother, he would have asked awkward questions about the Cards, let alone mock her for all eternity about her costume. The studying part was true, though, so the two friends had fled from the house on the hope that he wouldn't notice their departure.

Unlike Tomoyo, Sakura was a bad liar, especially when it was to someone she really cared about, but Yukito seemed to trust her answer. To her amazement, he nodded calmly and then asked exactly the opposite of what Sakura had been expecting. "Well, do you want to come with me and tell him where you are, Sakura-chan? Otherwise Toya might start to worry about you. He really does care about you so much."

Sakura's head jerked up dramatically. She had been so sure she would be scolded for not telling Toya, but instead she was being invited to walk through the woods with Yukito, _alone_? It seemed too good to be true! But…

"What about Tomoyo-chan?" asked Sakura kindly. She couldn't believe she was turning down a chance to be alone with Yukito, but after all, she didn't want to leave her best friend all by herself. She was half-hoping Tomoyo would _decide_ to be left by herself, however, half-hoping her friend would just disappear. She knew it wasn't very nice, but hey, this was Yukito hanging in the balance here.

To Sakura's delight, Tomoyo shook her head and did the most selfless thing possible. "Don't worry about me. You and Tsukishiro-san can go and tell Toya-san where we are, and then you can come back and meet me. I don't mind."

Sakura beamed and leapt into her friend's arms. She was going to walk through an autumn forest with Yukito, alone, thanks to Tomoyo! What could possibly be more romantic? "Arigatou, Tomoyo-chan," she murmured, loud enough for Tomoyo to hear but soft enough for Yukito to stay ignorant about. "You won't be alone for too long. I promise."

"I'll look after the staff for you, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo whispered, smiling at how happy she'd made her friend. Her body felt warm and comfortable where Sakura's torso touched hers, their faces mere inches away. Tomoyo could hear the faint sigh of Sakura's every breath and see every sparkle in her eyes. But all too soon, Sakura pulled away, hurrying to Yukito's side, and Tomoyo had to remind herself that it was Yukito Sakura loved. Not Tomoyo. Yukito.

And as Sakura and Yukito walked off into the trees, Tomoyo felt a strange burst of longing. Why couldn't _she_ be the one walking off with Sakura? Why couldn't _she_ be the one who Sakura coveted so much? Why couldn't _she_ just have a normal crush and forget all about Sakura?! It was so clear that Sakura was in love with someone else!

Tomoyo shook her head. Okay, she reminded herself fervently, she was thinking forbidden thoughts. Wanting Sakura for her own over Sakura's happiness? What had come over her? She'd agreed when she first met Sakura that she would always set her love's happiness over her own. She didn't want to be like her mother, making Nadeshiko's life miserable for marrying Sakura's father. If Sakura wanted to marry Yukito—Tomoyo shuddered inside—then _Tomoyo was going to encourage it because it would make Sakura happy._ That was the way she'd always lived, and the way she always would. Right?

Now that Tomoyo had remembered her golden rule, it was time find something to take her mind off of Sakura. What was she supposed to be doing? Ah, yes. Looking after the staff. Where was it again?

Tomoyo's head turned slightly and there it was, a piece of Sakura lying oh-so-innocently on the ground. It was long and narrow and brightly-colored, the white angel's wings still sticking bizarrely out of the bird head's eyes. It looked so inviting, sitting there without a rider. And Sakura used it nearly every day, making it practically sacred in Tomoyo's eyes. But it was _Sakura's_. Tomoyo was supposed to look after the staff, not _use_ it! What was she doing? Why was she reaching out to it? Why was she standing next to it? Why had she _picked up the Clow Wand in her own two hands?!_

Tomoyo shook her head violently and threw the staff to the ground as if it had scalded her hands. "N-no… no, Tomoyo… you c-can't…"

Why did she suddenly feel an urge to _ride_ it?

Before she knew what she was doing, the staff was once more resting in her arms, the metal cool and comfortable in her rough, clammy hands. Sakura had used this staff. Tomoyo was holding a part of Sakura close to her, while the real Sakura walked with Yukito so far away. Tears started to roll, slowly, carefully down from Tomoyo's eyes. She leaned her cheek against the bird's head. Her face was touching a part of Sakura. She shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't help herself. She was in a trance. She was in love. Her lips brushed against the metal beak very slightly, but enough to send chills up and down her spine. She was kissing a part of Sakura._ She was kissing Sakura on the lips._

Tomoyo jerked her head away, the tears falling faster and more freely now. How could she do this? Sakura was in love with Yukito! Fantasizing about kissing Sakura… that's what she was doing… but Sakura loved Yukito! Kissing her would bring her pain! Is that what Tomoyo wanted? To be happy and ruin Sakura's life in the process?!

She swung her legs over the staff's sides, and before another tear could slide to the ground, she was in the air.

It was an astonishing sensation. Every fear, every trouble, every drop of pain seemed sucked from Tomoyo's heart all at once, replaced by a kind of radiant euphoria that she couldn't have explained for her life. She let go of all control and let the staff itself guide her, up and down and down and up in a continuous path of harmony. She never wanted to let go, never wanted to leave… for here, all her emotions were as blurred as the leaves on the trees speeding by, her feelings for Sakura untangled yet faint so that she barely cared anymore at all. Hot tears grazed her cheeks and whooshed past her hair, which flew behind her in a long, silky mass of blackness that the boys in her class all seemed to like, but Sakura herself had never even noticed. Up, down, up, down. Tomoyo's very soul seemed to blend and smear until it was part of the staff itself, and she never wanted to become separate again. Here, she was invincible. She couldn't hurt Sakura. Sakura couldn't hurt _her_.

Up, down, up, down. Tomoyo's heart was a rollercoaster, her mind gone astray and her feelings a jumble. She was crying of misery, but she'd never felt so light.

She crashed into a tree and spiraled to the ground.

If Tomoyo had thought there was nothing like flying, then falling was another thing all together. Thoughts seemed to zip through her head at breakneck speed, but they were all so far away, as if she was seeing them through someone else's eyes. The staff fell beside her, the innocent white wings now appearing tainted with the charge of letting someone plunge to their doom while using their power. Tomoyo's fingertips came in contact with the bird's head, and she knew in an instant that the fault was her own. She was supposed to be watching after the staff, and instead she'd led it twirling to its downfall. New tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. What was she doing? What had she become?

"Gomenasai, Sakura-chan," murmured Tomoyo. She barely had enough strength to keep her eyes open, but soon she wouldn't need to. Soon it would all be over.

But instead of smashing violently against the cold, hard forest floor, she landed deep into someone's arms. They were warm and soft and familiar, and Tomoyo forced herself to take one last look before she fell into the tempting mask of sleep that gnawed at the corners of her consciousness. It was a face she knew so well. In her mind, she had traced every curve, felt every corner, lovingly caressed those soft pink lips. The face was framed by beautiful auburn hair, hair that had been cut by the caring but hated teenage boy who peered carefully over her shoulder.

"Is Daidouji-chan going to be okay?" asked the worried voice of Tsukishiro Yukito.

Tomoyo's eyes fluttered to show the world that she was still alive. It was the best she could do at the moment. Her half-fainted mind could only process one thing at a time in this state of exhaustion, and she had eyes for nothing but the one she loved.

Sakura's face showed pure concern, but she breathed a sigh of relief at seeing Tomoyo move, if only slightly. It was okay. It was going to be okay, because Tomoyo was alive, because she couldn't die because she was Sakura's best friend and Sakura loved her with all her heart. She loved her as much as you could possibly love someone platonically. But to Tomoyo, it wasn't enough.

"Hai, I… I think so." Sakura vision grew hazy as her big, green eyes filled with tears to match Tomoyo's. "Gomenasai, Tomoyo-chan," she whispered, soft droplets leaving her eyes and drifting down onto Tomoyo's pale, sleeping face. "I shouldn't have left you all alone. I'll never leave you again. Okay, Tomoyo-chan?" She was talking more to herself than her friend, taking long pauses to draw breath and let her tears fall. Yukito was still there, but it was if he wasn't, as now nothing mattered to the two friends but each other. "You're going to… to be all right, Tomoyo-chan. I'm sure you'll be all right."

Even at the sound of Sakura's unbeatable spell, Tomoyo didn't reply. What had been done was done. She couldn't ask Sakura to care about her more than she cared for Yukito, but she couldn't ask for anything else because she thought that then her heart might explode. Tomoyo reached a single finger upwards and traced the line from Sakura's delicate ear to her chin. And then she reached up with the last of her strength and brushed her lips against Sakura's cheek.

"I love you… Sakura."

"I love you too," choked Sakura in return, never pausing to think that she might be misinterpreting her friend's words. "You're my best friend and you'll always be, Tomoyo-chan. I love you like a sister."

As the world went black and Tomoyo gave in to the temptation of peaceful slumber, Sakura's heart was full of confusion, Yukito standing awkwardly by her side. But Tomoyo's heart and mind were clear. She knew who she loved. She knew who was her number one. And she knew, though she wished she could be wrong from the depths of her heart, who would never love her back. Tomoyo had never felt so hopeless before in all her eleven years on earth.

But at the same time, she had never felt so alive.


End file.
